We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
