Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
