Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
time to smoke my breakfast
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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