me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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