Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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