you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
