i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
