Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
