his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i love accidental penises.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
