She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My penis needs a shock collar
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
