How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
