You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Rumble strips road head = magical
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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