Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
