The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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