I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize