I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize