When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
