haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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