So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
