I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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