As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
