I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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