Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and she was petting her beer can
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.