Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Come share oat with me in your robe
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?