Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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