Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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