I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
