I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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