sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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