it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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