Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
