didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
