You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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