$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
