I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
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FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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