After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
