he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
