When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
