all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Randomize