So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Randomize
