goodnight i made you a song goodbye
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
