I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
