some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
