I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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