ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
