why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
as a side note pls kill me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
