I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
