a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
try to milk me bitch
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