sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
