I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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