All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
