I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
