you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
