I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize