i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
