just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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