So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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