People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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