So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
