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  Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often

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• Just wait until I get a blue shell you prick.

  Submitted by Binders_of_Women on Nov 15, 12 at 10:57pm

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• Don't text and ride. That turtle be swervin.

  Submitted by cowbro on Nov 15, 12 at 12:27pm

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• short and stubby fat chicks don't count as tortoises. you should leave whatever bar you are at.

  Submitted by corrond56 on Nov 15, 12 at 10:24am

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