Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
