I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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