Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
is wine microwaveable?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
